Kukke Subrahmanya Temple

We had planned for this trip since the last 15 months but somehow I got engaged and wedding arrangements proved to make this trip impossible...I am a strong believer in following certain things when it comes to the Almighty and so certain things that happened during the past one year made me feel the importance of not having done what I was supposed to do 15 months back. Well, not that I regret it now, but when things don’t go as planned, when things fail even when U make sure everything is set right, when plans break right in front of you, it makes you feel very insecure..!!

So the stage was set for the trip to happen and so it did..!!

I happened to make a few arrangements for the pujas in the end of September. Well, I had Kala Sarpa Dosha (When all planets are to one side of Rahu and Ketu, Kala Sarpa Dosha is supposed to be caused. This is considered a very bad yoga which gives rise to misfortunes and is supposed to be a major obstruction to ones progress) and I had to make sure that I do what I was told…perform Sarpa Samskara & Ashlesha Bali at Kukke Subrahmanya Temple.

I got in touch with a Poojari (whose name I will not be able to mention due to reasons best untold) who was referred by another person (whose name I will mention if need be at a later stage). I contacted this Poojari in the end of September and booked the dates for the pujas on Nov 10 & 11, 2008 (U will need to contact the Kukke Subrahmanya office on 08257-281224 for booking any pujas atleast a month in advance. They have various pujas that are scheduled on various days and hence the start up needs to be done atleast a month in advance).

Once this is done, you will need to book your accommodation as getting a room in Subrahmanya after reaching there might be a bit difficult. There are various other websites that can help you with the list of hotels in Subrahmanya. We opted to stay at Sheshnaag Ashraya which is opposite to KSRTC bus stand and which is one of the best hotels in Subrahmanya. This is also the same hotel where celebrities like Sachin Tendulkar, the Kapoor family, Juhi Chawla, Kannada superstars Darshan & Sudeep have stayed. The hotel also has AC rooms available for Rs. 1400/- for 3 people and Non AC rooms for Rs 550/- for 3 people. The staff is extremely courteous and helpful (to the extent that they even might help you get the tickets for pujas in the temple. I actually spoke to one of the members there and he helped us get the puja tickets after we got screwed from the Poojari. Had to pay him some extra cash for this but it was worth it). The phone numbers of this hotel are 08257-281215, 281219 and 281279.

Day 1:

We left Bangalore on Nov 9 at around 8 AM. We had booked a Qualis and I think this is one of the best ways to travel to places where you have never gone before. You atleast get free transportation and are assured of not getting screwed by the local transport available there. There are KSRTC Volvo / Rajahamsa / Karnataka Sarige buses available. For more information & online bookings, you can check http://59.162.166.116/AWATAROnline/. We reached Subrahmanya at around 3:30 PM after a couple of breaks for lunch and coffee. Once in Subrahmanya, we drove straight to Sheshnaag Ashraya, rested here till 6:30 PM and went to the temple for Darshan.

We finished the first Darshan by around 7:30 PM that day, confirmed our bookings for the pujas for the next day (Nov 10 – Sarpa Samskara) and headed for dinner at a nearby hotel. There are 2 main hotels here located in the same street as the temple. First is the Neo Mysore Café and secondly we have another one which is right opposite to this. Mysore Café serves good food and is open from 5 AM to 11 PM. After dinner, we headed back to the hotel and slept as we had to get up early the next day.

Day 2:

Nov 10 – Got up early at 5 AM and headed to the Kumaradhara River which is around 1.5 kms from the hotel. You are advised (when booking for pujas) to bathe at this river and then head for the pujas. Once we were done with this, we headed to the Adi Subrahmanya temple (which is the next street to the main temple) for the Sarpa Samskara. The puja started at 8:30 AM and continued till 1:30 PM. Kala Sarpa Dosha is believed to be afflicted by the Sarpa (serpent) dosha (curse) either knowingly or un-knowingly through many ways in this birth or any of the previous births. Pooja can be done either by the person afflicted or through a priest. This is because the puja involves rituals similar to the ones done in performing Shrartham (death rites). Sarpa Samskara Seva devotees need to stay for two days at Subrahmanya and only eat at the temple where food is provided (Palya, Rice, Rasam, Sambar, Sweet & curds). The cost of Sarpa Samskara is Rs. 1500/-. After lunch, you are advised to return back to the hotel and rest till evening.

In the evening, you can opt to bathe again at the Kumaradhara or at your hotel room before heading back to the temple for more rituals. Before going into the temple, you are asked to eat your evening snack at the temple premises (food area). Once at the temple, you are advised to go in 12/24/36 pradakshine (rounds) around the outer ring of the Garbha Gudi (where the main deity resides). You are also advised to wish for anything and then go for the pradakshine as this always fulfills if done with a pure heart. After this, we were back at the hotel to rest again as we had to start off early the next day.

Day 3:

Nov 11 – Got up early again at 4:30 AM and got ready to be at the puja site at 5:45 AM. Here, we had to perform another ritual (Ashlesha Bali) which usually lasts for a couple of hours. At around 9:30 AM, we headed to have breakfast at the temple premises again and then went back to the main temple to perform the last ritual (Naga Pratishte). These pujas cost around Rs. 250/- and can be done on your own. The information counter inside the temple can help you out with more information on how to get this done. Finally, you can enter the Garbha Gudi and seek the blessings of the Lord. After this, we collected the prasadam (you need to produce the puja tickets to obtain these). Once, we were out of the temple, we paid the priest Rs. 700/- for performing the rituals for us, sought his blessings, packed out stuff and were on our way back to Bangalore at around 3:30 PM. We reached Bangalore at 10:00 PM (thanks to Mohan, who was an excellent driver). The roads at the ghats are not all that great and it is really hard to say the best time to travel to Subrahmanya using these roads. The stretch from Sakleshpur is really bad for around 20 kms until you reach the crossing to Subrahmanya.

Please let me know if you guys need any more information on reaching Kukke or booking for Darshans. I can help you out with this experience.

Tips:

• Use own transportation as this helps you to travel freely without any fixed schedules.
• The temple authorities at the entrance of the temple request all gents to take off their shirts and banians – a tradition that is followed in most temples here. So it is advisable to carry “punche shalyas” as it is best suited for this place.
• Try to visit this place from September to January as this is the best time in terms of climate.
• Make sure you book the hotel rooms and check for puja bookings either through the temple authorities or the hotel staff.
  The contact information for Kukke Subrahmanya Temple is:
  Kukke Shree Subrahmanya Temple
  Subrahmanya – 574238
  Ph: 08257-281224
• For more information on Kukke, check: http://www.kukketemple.com/Home.htm

I will upload some of the pics of this trip shortly. You can contact me on vinayghdke@gmail.com for any more information on Subrahmanya.

Wasim Akram - The sorcerer..!!

Wasim Akram was the master swing bowler of the modern era. With Waqar Younis he formed one of the most lethal fast-bowling partnerships in the history of the game. When Wasim and Waqar were in their pomp during the mid-1990s they were a formidable force, decimating batting line-ups, and making Pakistan one of the world's best teams. Wasim provided a finesse in his bowling that was rare in fast bowlers. Waqar, the perfect foil, pounded in to bowl fast and furiously. He also had great skill, but Wasim was the magician when it came to deception.

Wasim was probably the most skilful and deceptive fast bowler I have watched. Nothing was ever the same twice in a row. He tested every single part of your game as a batsman, probing away for chinks in your technique. He would seem to be rushing towards you at the end of his run-up. He had great balance and a quick arm action, coupled with very strong shoulders, and had the ability to bowl deliveries that could be anywhere between 120 and 145kph with no discernible change in his action. This rapid change in pace from one delivery to the next was lethal.

Long before I seriously thought about a future career in cricket, I remember watching two of the most unforgettable deliveries ever, in the final of the 1992 World Cup. England were chasing 249 for victory and going well on 141 for 4 when Wasim came back for a mid-innings spell.

The first ball was the one round the wicket to Allan Lamb, England's match-winner during that period. The ball seemed to swing into the batsman, only to nip away at the last minute and take his off stump. It was a wicked, unplayable delivery. The next was perhaps even better, swinging about two feet to bowl Chris Lewis first ball. Lewis looked dumbfounded.

These deliveries were produced in the middle of the innings with the old ball. It was this unmatched ability to reverse-swing the ball that was Wasim's hallmark. It was an ability that was dogged by controversy, with many accusations around the world that reverse swing was the product of ball-tampering. I think these controversies took the focus away from what was a supreme skill.

If I am sure of any of the greatest batsman were given the opportunity to challenge their skill as a batsman by picking bowlers from history whom to face, Wasim would be an automatic choice. Perhaps the greatest tribute you can pay him is that in the current era of fast bowlers there is no one who can be judged to be in the same class. He was a once-in-a-generation cricketer who lifted fast bowling to new levels, and helped carry Pakistan to the top of world cricket. A true legend..!!

Lord Ganesha - My Hero..!!

Lord Ganesha is known for his knowledge and is the remover of obstacles. Lord Ganesha is also called Vinayak (knowledgeable) or Vigneshwar (God who removes obstacles). He is worshipped & remembered in the beginning of any auspicious day for his blessings and auspiciousness.

Lord Ganesha - he of the single tusk, whose vehicle is the mouse and he who penned the Mahabharata with his own hands.

Vakratunda Mahaakaaya Suryakoti Samaprabhaa.
Nirvighnam Kurumedeva Sarvakaaryeshu Sarvadaa.

Go Vegan Mate..!!

1. Helping animals also helps the global poor:

While there is ample and justified moral indignation about the diversion of millions of tonnes of grain for biofuels, more than seven times as much is fed to farmed animals so that people can eat meat. Is the diversion of crops to our cars a moral issue? Yes, and a complex one, but not as pressing as the issue that meat-eating is.

2. Eating meat supports cruelty to animals:

The green pastures and idyllic barnyard scenes of years past are now distant memories. On today's factory farms, animals are crammed by the thousands into filthy windowless sheds, wire cages, gestation crates and other confined spaces. These animals will never raise families, root in the soil, build nests, or do anything else that is natural and important to them. They won't even get to feel the warmth of the sun on their backs or breathe fresh air until the day they are loaded onto trucks bound for slaughter.

3. Eating meat is bad for the environment:

A recent United Nations report entitled Livestock's Long Shadow concluded that eating meat is "one of the . significant contributors to the most serious environmental problems, at every scale from local to global."

For example, eating meat causes almost 40 per cent more greenhouse-gas emissions than all the cars, trucks and planes in the world combined.

The report concludes that the meat industry "should be a major policy focus when dealing with problems of land degradation, climate change and air pollution, water shortage and water pollution, and loss of biodiversity."

4. Avoid bird flu:

The World Health Organisation says that if the avian flu virus mutates, it could be caught simply by eating undercooked chicken or eggs, eating food prepared on the same cutting board as infected meat or eggs, or even touching eggshells contaminated with the disease. Other problems with factory farming – from foot-and-mouth to SARS – can be avoided with a general shift to a vegetarian diet.

5. If you wouldn't eat a dog, you shouldn't eat a chicken:

Several recent studies have shown that chickens are bright animals who are able to solve complex problems, demonstrate self-control and worry about the future. Chickens are smarter than cats and dogs and even do some things that have not yet been seen in mammals other than primates. Dr Chris Evans, who studies animal behavior and communication at Macquarie University in Australia, says, "As a trick at conferences I sometimes list these attributes, without mentioning chickens, and people think I'm talking about monkeys."

6. Heart disease and cancer are big killers:

Healthy vegetarian diets support a lifetime of good health and provide protection against numerous diseases, including the United States’ three biggest killers: heart disease, cancer and strokes.

7. Fitting into that tiny bikini:

Vegetarianism is also the ultimate weight-loss diet, since vegetarians are one-third as likely to be obese as meat-eaters, and vegans are about one-tenth as likely to be obese. Of course, there are overweight vegans, just as there are skinny meat-eaters. But on average, vegans are 10 to 20 per cent lighter than meat-eaters.

8. Global peace:

Leo Tolstoy claimed that "vegetarianism is the taproot of humanitarianism". His point? For people who wish to sow the seeds of peace, we should be eating as peaceful a diet as possible. Eating meat supports killing animals, for no reason other than humans acquired taste for animals' flesh. Great humanitarians from Tolstoy to Mahatma Gandhi have argued that a vegetarian diet is the only one for people who want to make the world a kinder place.

9. The joy of veggies:

As the growing range of vegetarian cookbooks and restaurants shows, veggies rock. People report that when they adopt a vegetarian diet, their range of foods explodes from a centre-of-the-plate meat item to grains, legumes, fruits and vegetables that they didn't even know existed.

FAMILY - The biggest support system I know..!!

Well, true to its word, this is what I find invaluable..!! I have been thru so much and they continue to be by my side wch really makes me feel so blessed..!! I really want to make up for all the time thtz lost and put thru a point wch makes them feel proud..!!

Wish me luck guys, I need it all..!!

Suryange Torcha & Derivatives..!!

1. Suryange torcha

2. Autoge standa

3. Akkamahadevi ge wig ga

4. Reliance mobilege simma,

5. Puttammange Poema

6. Police ge Bandooka

7. Windows ge GUI na

8. Mouse ge buttona

9. Windows ge window

10. Windows ge kitki na

11. Linux ge open coda

12. C++ ge incrementa

13. Sardar ge joke a?

14. Gaandhaarige makla

15. Guruvige paatha na

16. Conductor ge ticket a?

17. Gandhi ge upavaasa na

18. Gatar ge kasa na

19. Samudrakke uppa

20. Kurudange color blindnessa?

21. Akashakke neeli na

22. Policege Slataa ??

23. Radioge Cassetta ??

24. All India Radioge Secreta ??

25. Dummyge Kobba ??

26. Benkige AC na ??

27. Fish ge snaanana..

28. Mirror ge reflectionna..

29. Aalada marakke nerala..

30. Shabari ge 'Just A Minute'a..

31. Karnange daanana..

32. Shakuni ge frauda..

33. Gandhi ge Non-Violence speecha..

34. Clinton ge scama...

35. Laloo ge hulla.....

36. Saeed Anwar ge gadda na

37. Jailor ge shiskse na..?

38. Judge ge ordera..?

39. Horlicks ge haala..?

40. Hajamange haircutta..?

41. Kubhakarna nige hasivaaa..?

42. Devvakke hedarike na..?

43. Cigarate ge hoge na..?

44. Kurudange Ray-Bana??

45. Doctor ge prescriptionna??

46. DP ge May-Day na??

47. Kumble ge googly na??

48. Kambli ge hairstyla??

49. Moogange 'Silence Please'a ??

50. Ambarish ge enne na ??

51. Kashinath ge 'double-meaning'a??

52. Disco Shanthige Seerena ?? (These two rock)

53. Triller manju ge Dupa??

54. Rajkumarge BackGround Voica??

55. Shivarajkumar ge kadige na

56. M F Hussain ge paintinga

57. Nayi ge bow bowa..

58. Ravichandran film ge 'SET'a

59. Director ge 'action'na??

60. Cameraman ge photo na??

61. Prema ge 'High heels'a??

62. Upendrange Directora??

63. Prabhudevange choreographerra??

64. Nagan gee Spotaa??

Jim Corbett - A true hero..!!

Jim Corbett, the most famous hunter and tracker of big game, yet also an ardent conservationist, was responsible for the killing of many man-eating tigers over a thirty year period. Upon his arrival at the village where a man eating tiger had taken her last victim, he found the area, a virtual ghost town, with villagers locked inside their huts with no one having ventured outside for a week. The tigress roamed the roads near the village roaring and terrifying villagers; when Corbett shot her and became an instant folk hero.

I have read Man-Eaters of Kumaon, The Temple Tiger and many more books that describe how he hunted down man eaters. His precision on hunting the man eaters down, tracking their movements, planning his kill and also paying homage to the dead simply make this guy a legend..!!!

I intend to visit the Jim Corbett National Park at least once before I die and experience what the great man did for the poor folks who feared man eaters..!!

Kollapuri's..!!

The fare at Kollapuri's - billed as "exclusive Savji's" - is according to the tradition of the Savji community. They were originally Maharashtrian, speaking Savji, a dialect of Marathi. They usually have first names that have a suffix of "sa" - as in Dhondusa - and the most well-known among them in our City are the distillery owners, Khodays.

Savji food is essentially what can be called "home style". In keeping with this "home food" tradition, the owners of Kollapuri's prepare the spices, masalas, and gravies at their homes, bring them to the Jayanagar restaurant, and later cook a dish based on the order placed by a diner.

The menu, an extensive one, includes food preparations such as pulav, gravy, starters, tandoor, sea food, egg, and rice. For vegetarians, who may stray to this essentially non-vegetarian outlet, there are about a dozen food items to choose from. The prices are a delight as most of the major dishes cost between Rs. 35 and Rs. 80.

The adventure begins in little steel thalis, and katoris with starters. Choose from kheema bhunka unda (egg with kheema stuffing), or pudhina chicken. The mutton chop dry, mutton kalimirchi, and chicken raja are all prepared in the Savji tradition. One learns here that what they call chicken manchoorian is not really manchoorian, but is prepared with Savji spicing.

Their tandoori kabab, malai kabab, kalmi kabab, and their prawn, fish, and egg dishes are all prepared in the Savji tradition. On Sundays, they have specials, and one among them is the bunjel kukdi. This is a roasted chicken dish with spices used to the minimum, to let the original chicken flavour come through. It virtually melts in the mouth.

Me & VJ happened to venture out to Jayanagar on Sunday and visited this place...heavy rains had dampened our spirits but we cud not shy away..!! So there we were @ about 2:15 PM...ordered for Jowar Bhakri with Chicken Kolhapuri & later settled for white rice with an extremely spicy chicken masala (I saw this dish at another table & cud not resist getting one myself..!!) Me, Chetan & Mintoo have been here before and I shud tell U we "ate" properly tht day..!!

They also serve naati chicken kadan, or sholay kabab, dry and delightful. Their bhakri and edme (a non-sweet, obbattu-like bread item) are served hot to touch.

U shud visit this place if U want to taste the flavour of Maharashtra and if U r a Maratha like me...this wont disspoint U..!!

Fanoos..!!

This one is really a stand, eat and go kinda place...but the best one for rolls..!! The best sheek kebabs & rolls in chicken, mutton & holy cow, even beef - are available here. Appealing names such as Jumbo, Mumbo, Rambo and Sambo rule here. Prices are reasonable & easy on the pocket. Taste is heavenly and the beef rolls are all real huge..!!

Got introduced to this place when I was in C-Cubed around 4 years back...Simon was & still is a hugeeeeeeee fan of Beef Mumbo rolls..!!

A must try for all "my types" who wud do anything for gud food..!!

Jughead Jones..!!

I love him for his attitude & obviously cos of food..!!

Dewar's..!!

A bar that was once immensely popular, Dewar's is a place with "the" atmosphere. The high beamed ceiling has an old world air to it, and the stock of liquor kept in the cupboards seems eccentric in this day and age but completely practical, all the same.

Along with your drink, try the fried fish, which is served boneless or the military style chicken roast...the masala mix is simbbbblllyyyyyy outta this world. The crowd is mixed, all classes and mostly male types...best places to sit & sip your drink with friends if you stay in Frazer Town.

This onez closed for the last couple of months and thrz little hope of it opening up again..!!

Arguably Bangalore's most atmospheric drinking joint...!!

Savoury..!!

There is this little joint called Savoury (New BEL Road) which is overwhelmingly popular given the crowds, where you can taste the best shawarma rolls ever, and other Arabic delicacies. VJ & I always prefer one full Grilled + 2 Lemon sodas (VJ - Sweet Salt/VG - Sweet)..!! I luvvvvvvvvv the Garlic sauce that U get with the grilled bird and it rox..!! I really think they are damn gud. You can customize your order by telling them what U prefer as spicy, extra spicy etc. It is a very reasonable and filling meal, and the flavors make you crave it ever so often. The shawarma is prepared only in the evenings, so don't bother heading there for lunch unless you want to give the few other options on their menu a shot.

I usually head out to this place with VJ when we need the taste of Arabs...Food is always awesum and trust me, so are all the Arabic Women from M.S. Ramaiah Institute of Technology (MSRIT)..!!

Wok with Chung..!!

This one near Marathahalli took me by surprise..!! Well, almost..!! It was by luck that we found this one..!! From the outside, it looks pretty small but once you step inside, you realize that it is actually quite spacious & has an amazingly silent ambiance, something that you'd never expect given that it sits right on one of the most traffic prone roads in Bangalore.

The food is excellent & the menu contains almost all the traditional Chinese fare – from Chopsueys & Noodles to delectable dishes such as “Honey Chilli Chicken”. The service too is prompt & the prices, although not cheap, is worth it...!!

Have given up going here for quite sumtime now but am sure it still rox..!!

Taste of Tibet..!!

This one is @ a quiet, secluded place on the third floor of the well renowned shopping center "Tibetan Plaza". The one dish worth your money at this restaurant is undoubtedly their Momos. Of all the restaurants I've been to in Bangalore, I don't think you get such yummy momos at such a good price anywhere else..!! (Rs. 45/-)..Though the chicken and beef momos are the yummiest, vegetarians needn't fret because the Veg Momos are equally tasty. Apart from the momos, Taste of Tibet also offers a whole range of other authentic Tibetan food. The prices are very affordable and so most of the people who come there are the college goers or a working crowd. This place might look dingy at first but a visit there is definitely worth your money and your taste buds as well..!!

Veena Stores

This place actually started as a condiment store in the 70's & morphed into a popular eatery, much sought after for its soft "melting in the mouth types" idlis, served with "only" chutney in unlimited quantities, huge crisp vadas, spicy shavige bath, uppitu and kesari bath. Kesari Bath, though very tasty, has an overdose of ghee, accounting for the rich taste. A must try..!!

Downing the above with a small serving of coffee/tea or badam(almond) milk one goes home feeling heavenly. This unassuming address is near by to MES College. Usually starts at 6:15 AM in the mornings and has a huge fan following..!!

Me & Deepa used to frequent this place when we used to work nites..!!

Woman = Problemz..!!

Bajaj Chetak..!!

Bajaj Chetak...well, what can I say abt this one..!! It all started in 1995 (aftr the day of my SSLC exams) when I was just out of school and Dad proudly handed over the keys to me and said "Son, U are now eligible to use my superbike"..!! And superbike it was indeed to me way back in 1995..!!

I immediately tugged on to my superbike & was off to VJ's place only to find him on his uncle's brand new red Bullet..!! I wasn't going to let this one go..after much convincing, me & VJ were off explore Bhasyam Circle at 6 PM..!!

What chix..but not one would see us..!! Even when we zoomed at 65 KM/HR.!!

It was days later that we realised that was only for uncles..& not for us..!!

Well, I was really happy to read sumwhr lately that Bajaj has finally stopped production of "The Kappe" (fondly named by VJ) and was celebrating..!!

and now I am really sad...for I was born in an era where Kappes ruled..!!

Girlfriend 5.0 - Wife 1.0..!!

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0, but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings - Alimony - Child Support)..!!

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command "C:\APOLOGIZE" because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5.

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0.

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
"Tech Support"

Sony Cyber-Shot DSC-W130

Too many grumpy facial expressions in your family snaps? Do not despair! Sony has today announced 4 new models in its W-series of digital compact cameras, all of which are featuring Sony's 'smile shutter' mode..!! I wonder if this one wud help to get a smile on my colleagues faces...especially after the drubbing we got at the client's office last week..!!

Anywyz, thz one looks great and with 8.1-megapixels, I surely cud get what I want on my pix..!! Looking forward to getting this one shortly..!!

Mom, this one is gonna be for U..!!

Humour - 2

Guys, Blind dates are just plain scary & it gets a lot worse when you meet them and discover they are far from even the most meager of hopes you had for them..!! (Ushaaru Guru)..Here are a few tips on how to get rid of them, fast fastly..!! LOL..!!

• Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about himself/herself.
  

• When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.

• Without asking, eat off of your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.

• Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full, and spray crumbs. If a crumb lands anywhere near your date, pick up the crumb, put it in your mouth and say, "I'm all about conservation."

• Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you.

• Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/ hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask them "What took you so long in the bathroom?"

• Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you.

• Ask the people at neighboring tables for food from their plates.

• Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the subject up periodically throughout the meal.

• Order a bucket of lard.

• Ask for crayons to color the placemat. You'll need to be extra persuasive in fancier restaurants with linen tablecloths.

• Howl and whistle at women's legs, especially if you are female.

• Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets and relatives.

• Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, w with a good view of all exits, and where your back will be facing a wall. Act nervous.

• Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date's.

• Hum. Loudly. In monotone.

• Stare at your date's neck and grind your teeth audibly.

• Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what they are talking about.

• Drool.

• Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.

• Sacrifice French fries to a Pagon god.

• Discretely fill your pockets with sugar packets, napkins, salt shakers, silverware, floral arrangements, etc...

• Hold a debate. Take both sides.

• Undress your date verbally.

• Attempt to auction your date off to people nearby.

• After getting your food slide under the table. Take your plate with you.

• Order a baked potato. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "never got". When the waiter returns with another potato, have the first one back on your plate.

• Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisons or comments about it.

• Get your date drunk. Talk about their philosophy and tape the conversation. Later use good judgment in editing to twist their words around.

• Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience.

• Occasionally speak in Pig Latin throughout the meal.

• Take a break, and go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Tell your date, "They need to air out."

• Order for your date. Order more food then he/she can possible eat. Tell them they "must eat it all or suffer the consequences."

• If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite, pretend like the food is disgusting and say, "Man, did you get ripped off!"

• Bring twenty candles with you to the restaurant. During the meal get up and arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant.

• Save the bones from your meal, and explain that you're taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother, because it's a lot cheaper than actually feeding her.

• Ask your date how much money they have with them.

• Refuse to speak to your date. Request that they mime the conversation instead.

• During dinner guard your plate with your fork and steak knife. Give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, reaching for it.

• Collect all of the salt shakers from tables surrounding yours. Use them to build a tower on your table.

• Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.

• Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.

• Repeat every third third word you say say.

• Proudly explain to your date that you were voted "Most Festerous" in your high school yearbook. Give examples of why it was appropriate.

• Read a newspaper, book or listen to a book on tape during the meal.

• Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt.

• Insist that the waiter cut your food into little pieces.

• Insist that the waiter take one bite from everything served to you. Explain that you need to make sure no one has poisoned your food.

• Accuse your date of espionage. Pretend you have a secret microphone hidden on your body and you are talking the CIA.

• Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.

Key 2 Success @ Corporates..!!

Anand emailed me sum days back on this..

"After a huge research about the Key to success, the "KEY THING" was found to be the only shortcut to success and a steep climb up the corporate ladder..."key thing to success @ CORPORATES"..!!

Humour - 1

Humour - is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement..I luv people who luv humour..!! This is for all you "my types" out there..!!

Enzzzoooiiiiiiiiiiiiii maadi..!!

One day, a man got the sudden idea to take up bear hunting. After much money was spent on such things as camouflage, a rifle, ammunition, and bear mace, the man takes off for Alaska.

On his first day out, he sees nothing. The same is true with the second day, and so on. Finally, on the last day of the season, this little black bear, not much more than a cub, walks into the clearing. The man deliberates a little, then decides that this bear is going nowhere. He pulls up, sights in, and shoots. The bear falls dead.

As the man stands up to survey his kill, he feels a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he sees a very large black bear, and it doesn't look too happy to see him. The bear just looks back at him and says, "Look, man, that was my youngest cousin you just shot. Now I've got a proposition for you: I get to maul you, or we're going to have mad animal sex right here, right now." Now the man really doesn't want to die, so he chooses the latter. How bad could it be?

It takes the man a month to recover from the bear's "tender attentions." When he finally does, the man has vengeance on his mind. Immediatly he books another bear hunt. Lo and behold, the first day out, he spots the very bear who had caused all this pain. He pulls up and shoots. As he prepares to gloat over the bear's corpse, he feels a tap on his shoulder.

Turning around, the man finds himself face-to-chest with the largest brown bear he has ever seen. Not suprisingly, it said, "Alright man, you just shot my cousin. Now we can either get bloody and messy, or we can get down and dirty right now." The man still doesn't want to die...

Three months later, the man is booked and in the field again, seeking out that brown bear. Once again, he sees the thing on the first day. Once again, he pulls up and shoots. Once again, he feels that tap.

This time, it's an enormous grizzly bear. "Now see here, man, you just blasted my cousin into oblivion. Now I can tear you apart and spread your body from one side of this state to the other, or you can reach down, grab your ankles, and pray." Shaking his head, the man reaches down...

A year later, the man finally manages to get out of bed and to the phone. It was that grizzly bear's turn to die! Once again, he comes across the bear on the first day out. Once again, the man shoots. And once again, he feels the dreaded tap.

Turning around, the man finds himself looking at the largest polar bear imaginable. The bear looks at him once and says, "You don't come out here for the hunting, do you?"

ATTITUDE..!!

Well, this one hit me really hard (whr it hurts men the most) today..post lunch..in the form of "♀" in a client meeting..!! Sudhakar was trying his best to keep a smile on his face and was helping the new contact from the client end..!! But all that we got back was..(see the picture)..!!

Rite on, we discussed, how we gonna put up with this..!!

Time will eventually tell who survivez..!!

Eventually, I discussed this with VJ, and all he had to say was "Dil Pe Mat Le Yaar, Haath Pe Le..!!"

Tennis & Cricket..!!

Lookalikes, well, am sure all of you wud agree tht I dont luk like a very popular celebrity..however, me & my friends hav had sum real close encounters with fakes..!!

The other day for example, when me & Anand were at Fish Paradise (bar in Navarang that gives U sum amazing dishes - will be getting more info on this shortly)...we hpnd to see Tennis...he was at his usual stupid self, with a drink and a couple of friends chit chatting...

The other folks who were around him, were only too eager to greet him and get him to repeat his most famous dialogue "naan kaNaNNO...naMjappana maga guNjappa"..

It was only after he ordered out for a beer tht we came to know that he was a fake jus pretending to be Tennis with sunglasses on..!!

A few weeks after this, when Vidya walked up to me, Sajit & Vinod & said that she saw Irfan Pathan jogging by her next to KSCA, it was all too much for us to believe..!!

Then, I happened to catch the guy himself in M.G. Road..!! Rest is on the pic..!!

Drink Wet Cement...Get STONED..!!

This really is what I can say to all my old dudez from my gud ol' college days..!! Well, thr was a time when life was jus a trance..all those cigarettes that went up in smoke, all those dayz when life jus seemed so relaxed..this is my tribute to all my dirty palz who eventually gave up weed jus to make life a little more simpler for everyone around..!!

U rock guys, without too much weed..!~!

Life sux..but jus for the moment..!!

Last night I stumbled upon this funny cartoon, which made me smile, I hope it will add a smile to your faces too..!! Lifez jus like that..and sumtimes people just annoy U with loads of practical stuff, which, well, I wudn't say is bad..but atleast U wudn't require it when u r sulking..!!

Gradually U realize, all they say is true..but U may not agree with them rite there..!! This happened to me with VJ..!! He is always there for me when it comes to gyaan and trust me "he is worth each word"..!! This is the man that I look upto when I need sumone to push me thru rough times and the way he analyzes my problems, it makes U think "what the heck have I been worried abt? I just need to play my cards rite..!!"..

This is for U..VJ, U deserve it from me buddy..!!

Project LIC..!!

Well, Folks, Project LIC was something that was very close to my heart simply cos it involved a great deal of pressure and if I cud get thru this, then I am the luckiest man alive..!! Results - I will know abt it only after a few days but I really pray nothing goes wrong now..!! Wish my luck fellas..!!

ICICI Bank

Well, I happened to join Magus and after rolling for 3 long months, I still do not have my salary account...courtesy ICICI..!! We have exchanged 12 emails till now and the blame list has the company admin, ICICI reps, Phone reps, Field reps and finally me for not signing on the Declaration Form..!!

Now thtz one huge state of confusion and I dont trust anyone on this now..!! Godz punishing me for being a bad boy..!!

Airlines Hotel - Lavelle Road

Well, it all started one day when Raghu & Me were really hungry, all we cud think of is "Airlines Hotel" wch is just too close to the office...so off we went into Airlines to explore and ordered for Masala Dosas..!! Well, this place is really perfect for people who wanna spend time..without doing too much of spending...& if U do intend to spend, go elsewhere...Dosas were bad & costly...Coffee was expensive & too much in quantity... How I wish there was a Vidyarthi Bhavan on Lavelle Road..!!

Lazeez Restaurant - Koramangala

Guys..!! This has to be it..!!

Authentic Lucknowi biriyani (I dont like the aloo in the middle though), the best mutton chops, amazing cardiac-arrest kaati rolls (try the double egg, double chicken, thats sure to make your heart stop); Chicken rezala, Firni that melts in your mouth like crazy..!!

This one is close by to JNC in Koramangala and U r sure to enjoiiiiii ur meal with some amazing sight seeing..!!

Not for people who cannot handle spice and women at the same time..!!

Itz been quite a while I've been there and rest assured I wud be raiding this hangout pretty soon..!!

Hotel Empire International

Hotel Empire is heaven to all my friends and has branches all over the city. This is the best place to dig into a lamb raan and other tandoori dishes with an array of different parotas, or try a more filling meal of steamed rice with chicken and fish curries, prawn biriyani, ghee rice and mutton varaval. Dont even dare not order the Grilled Chicken & Kababs...they also have a lunch buffet from 12:30 PM to 3:30 Pm (at jus 99/- bucks/Church Street) which runs thru out the week wch is great value for ur money...This is the place I used to go with Sudhakar when we were @ work & trust me when I say "he eats meat"..!!

Open till the wee hours of dawn, Empire finds favour with the IT employees working late or the party animal seeking a post-party hangout. However, Empire would disappoint you if you are planning to wash down your meal with a swig or two..!! So go thr prepared for battle..!!

Impossible is Nothing..!!

Impossible is Nothing..!! So the saying goes...well, might jus be easier for a Tendulkar or a Beckham, guys like me hav had to go thru s*%t to even dream of seeing the letter "I" of Impossible..!! But yes, there is always hope..and that just spurs me on..!!

"Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing..!!"

Life @ Magus..!!

Life @ Magus has been fun so far...it all began on May 15th this year jus when I was jus out of the wedding blues..yeah, even though it was 3 long months after the reception..anywyz, it just took me a day to get into Magus, the day on which I saw Vinod explaining sumthing (wch seemed very interesting) to Shyam in the conference room...the day on which I met Soumya (who was to be my Operations Manager) and also Ashita (The One - (who heads Bengaloorrruuuu))..!!

The day started to roll as usual and although I will be completing 3 long months on Independence Day this month, it seems like it all began last weekend...!!

Another Boring Monday..!!

I can't believe the weekend is gone and I'm sitting at my desk at work once again with nothing or loads to do. I think I'm slowly going to lose my mind here. I wish it were Sunday so that I'd have a whole another day to catch up on stuff. Yestry was fun with VJ...some movies, beats in Majestic to pick sum DVDs and then food at a restaurant which VJ swears by...well, the food was good enuff for 2 hungry guys but we went out at 5 PM again to hog on sum more stuff...got back home by 8 PM and Mom was unusually upset that I spent the whole day with VJ...Happy Friendship Day buddy, can U blame me?? How I wish we had 5 weekends and 2 weekdays..!!

My Dream Cell Phone..!!

Finally last weekend, I went out & bought the Nokia 3500 classic...a rare model launched after the N Series...well, I say that cos there are a lot of features in this one which exist on the N Series models...regardless of its affordable price being around Rs. 5600/-, the 3500 has amazing features like Bluetooth, 2MP Camera, MP3 player and radio..!!

Life for the last month..!!

Life for the last one month has been...well, all lonely...missing friends for quite sumtime...and now that the month has finally come to an end, I am not too sure if I will get this period of joy back again...I had VJ with me during this time and he will be there for me for the next 20 days until Bhabhi is back..!!

Now I gotta wait for her to be back and bid my freedom gud bye..!!